The Wise Hare
by scotchietape19
Summary: Kotetsu is still the clumsy old man Barnaby had always known, but lately this Wise Young Hare is having vivid sexual dreams that are, quite frankly put, fucking with him. As if he did not have enough to worry about without Kotetsu pushing him up against a wall behind Hero's Bar every night. Post Season One.
1. Hero's Bar

_ Blonde on brunette, quivering lips on dampening hair, gasps on fire. Hearts pounding like they had never beat before. The music of flesh on flesh humming throughout a dark, shady rendezvous. The risk of being uncovered by the media, the thrill of the suddenness of it all, the everything perfect. The hard body on top of his own, the grizzly brown beard and the mature muscles sliding across his own – two washboards beating against each other. Pounding rhythms leaking from the back door of Hero's Bar, cheers sounding from inside as a busboy opens the door to throw away garbage. The monophonic beep of their call watches - both go unanswered._

_ "You're not supposed to do this to your co-worker," the older breathed hard, his actions contradicting his words absolutely beautifully. "Shut up," the younger rasped and knocked the hat off his head. "Since when did you want me so badly?" the older growled. The younger paused for only a moment - "None of your business..." he answered, "and since when did you care, old man?"_

_ "None of your business." the older of the two grinned. Barnaby's young pulse quickened drastically. "But uh, hey listen, Bunny..." Kotetsu ventured, "can I get your autograph?" _

_ The younger faltered, "Get my autograph?" he panted, "what do you need with that? Not another one for your daughter, is it?" _

_ "_Ugh!"

Barnaby's eyes shot open to see a young woman standing in front of the table with her eyes glistening – she looked as if she had seen Jesus walking. "E-excuse me?" Barnaby stammered, his heart pounding as quick as a rabbits' against his ribs. The young woman's face scrunched worriedly, "I s-said, can I get your autograph, p-please, Mister Barnaby?" She took a step back as if she had offended the the Lord himself.

Barnaby blinked rapidly, clearing the dream away from his head – it terrified him. "Yes, of course." he replied numbly, regaining his composure slowly but surely. He slipped a card from his coat and quickly sent her on her way with a signature and a hollow smile. "Sorry for waking you up, thanks again!" she called over her shoulder, falling to pieces as he caught her eyes. "No, thank_ you._.." the blonde muttered to himself and caught the waiter on his way by.

As he jogged his way out the door toward his apartment, he could think only of talking to one other person about his nightmares – Samantha, his old house keeper and stand-in mother. The thought of her guidance warmed his spirits, and before he knew where he was headed, his legs had carried him like the wind to the front of his large apartment door. Slowly, he crept inside.

'_I need a drink...' _he thought to himself. He pulled out a bottle of beer and thirstily drank it down down before grabbing another and turning towards his comfy black chair by the window.

_"What the hell was that, anyway..." _he wondered briefly, his socks catching the rub below his feet. This was not the most graphic of his dreams about Kotetsu in the past. _"I've known the guy for a year... why now have I been dreaming this … weird shit.' _His skin crawled,_ 'I'm not even gay..." _

Raking his slim fingers through his hair, the six foot dream-God turned to sit down – as a rasping knock came from the door. Ice rushed throughout Barnaby's brain like he had downed a quick Slurpee, and he could taste his own fear as a cat would. As a bunny would.

He gulped, half off the couch, looking for some nonexistent protection from this intruder – some protection from even so much as the couch cushions. '_Look at them,' _he thought desperately, '_sitting there limp, no worries in the world!'_

"Knock knock! I know you're in there, Bunny!"

_'Shit,' _The blonde cursed and sprang to his feet, panic rising fast from his gut. "O-one minute, Kotetsu!" he yelled shakily and ran towards the bathroom. He ripped open the medicine cabinet and took a look at himself in the mirror – the strain was all over his face. '_He'll know something's up - he _always_ knows when something's up, _damn him_**.**' _Quickly he flipped the sink on and showered his face with a rushed splash of water to rid of the shock. The deep, delightful voice at his door brought the dream back to the forefront of his mind all over again, chills crawling their bumpy way up his skin.

_ "_I don't have all day, Brooks!" Came another assault from the door. Barnaby grabbed a towel on his way out and flew across the bare apartment to the door, the front of his hair was soaked. It took only the sound of Barnaby attempting to unlock the door before Kotetsu was impatiently rattling the knob."S-Stop it!" Barnaby called shakily through the crack in the door and was soon on the verge of cardiac arrest as the other laughed even harder.

"I can't open the door, I'm serious!"

Kotetsu, figuring he had messed around long enough, dropped his hand from the knob. "What's wrong lil' bunny? Are you afraid of the big bad tiger outside your door?" he taunted airily, "Scared I'll _eat _you for _breakfast!_" the older man asked maliciously and scraped his fingernails hard down the door frame.

"Quit it!" Barnaby hollered, frustration and anger ringing out of his mouth like the most violent of trumpets. The panic in his voice was evident, and it left him standing there awkwardly vulnerable. His chest rose and fell irregularly, resentment written across his eyes for the fact that this mumbling dork was making him so shaky. "Just stop it with your joking around all the time."

The noise died down on the other side of the door."What's wrong Bunny? You okay?" Kotetsu's muffled voice asked through the door frame.

Barnaby seriously considered running away – considered maybe even jumping out the window - it would have been possible with the strength of his Hundred Power in effect. '_You know you're desperate when...'_

The door swung open and there was Kotetsu, his partner in crime, his friend - his tiger. "Nothing's wrong." Barnaby lied instantly, his usual cold stare back in its place. "You just, uh..." Barnaby took a quick look up at his partner's face – he did _not_ look convinced - "You scared me. The noise scared me."

Kotetsu gave Barnaby a hard look up and down. Shining amber eyes burned through his own, through his outer shell, through his _soul. 'How does he do that?' _Barnaby wondered absently as his pulse quickened. Quickened... _quickened. _That word brought back his dream – that _stare_ brought back his dream. Barnaby forced a gulp down, his eyes hard so not to betray his fright.

A fleeting moment traveled between the two partners that almost stopped Barnaby's poor little heart. Once again he found himself wondering, _'How does he do that?' _but before he thought hard into it, Kotetsu was grinning and pushing his way past him. "Phew," the tiger puffed out loudly, "Nothing serious, good, just made the bunny jumpy."

_'More than you know,"_ Barnaby fumed and swung the door shut. "I was busy before you barged in, what do you need here so late?" Kotetsu rummaged through the cold shelves of the fridge until he reached a freezing can of beer. "A place to crash," he replied and cracked the lid open. "I was drinking near by and I can't drink and drive. It'd be a bad example." he smiled and cross the room.

"H-Hey!" Barnaby called and pointed to the ground. "Take your shoes off, you're wrecking the carpet!" By now he was an unflattering shade of scarlet, (especially for blondes,) with anger, and took a step forward. Kotetsu froze and visibly swayed. "Oh sorry, Bunny." he mumbled and brought his leg up untie his shoe.

Balance is a funny thing... especially when drunk. Barnaby took a fleeting moment to observe what a great Leaning Tower Of Pisa Kotetsu would have made – had Kotetsu stopped at just swaying. But shortly after lifting his leg, (which also included grumbling and a hiccup,) he began to lean too far forward, and in no time at all his hands were reaching out for anything to grab. Barnaby danced soberly out of the way and shook his head, flustered. '_Oh brother...'_

"T-tis but a flesh wound..." Kotetsu laughed tipsily and pulled himself onto his bottom. "Kaede's got me playing too many video games lately." he grinned and slapped the floor with his right hand. '_That's from a movie, doofus...' _Barnaby rolled his eyes pointedly. "I'll just sleep on the floor," Kotetsu called, " Really, it's no big deal."

And then Kotetsu turned his sun kissed face up to Barnaby's, and then he smiled the most genuine smile one single man could ever possibly hope to see in his life, and then Barnaby's wall crumbled. And then it crumbled. Crumbled straight to the ground. The blond closed his eyes for half a second, forcing himself to quit the replay of Kotetsu's happy face in his mind. To quit it. To be mad once more. '_If I let him off too easy, he'll think he can do this anytime. This isn't a homeless shelter for drunks.' _ He opened his green eyes slowly to see that the other had flopped over, his hat rolling half way across the room.

"I never said you could stay here..." Barnaby muttered and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose angrily. Kotetsu cradled his head under his arm and stared up at the ceiling, a somber kind of emotion washing over the others face. "You're not much older than Kaede..." he commented to himself.

'_No not at all, only ten years or so...' _

Barnaby left the other alone, headed in the direction of the bedroom. Hastily he rummaged through his garage-sized closet for an extra blanket and pillow. He was lucky to find one, for since he had been alone all his life with no mother or father or sibling, he barely had extra of anything lying around. _'Nothing except for extra space...'_

While he made his way back, he stopped to look at himself in the bathroom mirror. He was shocked to find a small smile on his lips where a frown had dominated only seconds ago. He blinked a few times, his long eyelashes stimulating the top of his cheekbones. '_He's like no one I've ever met before.' _

_ He's like no one I've ever met before._


	2. Think Of You

_ It's one-hundred and nine degrees in this crowded room. No room to breathe, with walls as cold as a gallery._

Barnaby's wide eyes roamed the gorgeous, artful room around him. Bloody tiles, smoky walls, It was another one of those hero parties, but this time they went _all out._ Ribbons of silk hung in rainbows from the ceiling and twined together with the chandeliers. They had decided to hold the event at special hall on the outskirts of town – this was Barnaby's big night.

Barnaby's poor heart fluttered anxiously as he leaned farther and farther away from the close, chatting reporters that absolutely swarmed. He felt his hairline glistening with light drops of sweat and the unconscious feeling that he reeked under his suit was on the forefront of his mind, no matter how much cologne Agnes had poured on him. This was the largest meeting of his life – Maverick was watching over his think glasses, a proud smile on his big lips. He felt absolutely trapped, a rabbit in a cage – and this time, there was no carrot.

_This is no place for me._

Kotetsu was floating freely around, dancing out of the way of people that did not recognize him – even with his mask on. Although he was in constant peripheral vision, he was no where near close enough to Barnaby for comfort. And however much he disliked the old guy, he was the only crutch at the moment. Flashing cameras busied themselves to his better side, and Barnaby closed his eyes. This was unbelievable - just yesterday he was grinning foolishly at news paper reporters and striking poses for the fans. Today, well. He just... did not feel good.

It was kind of simple - lately nothing felt good. Especially sleep. There was no such thing as a good nights rest anymore, or sweet dreams. They were far from sweet, and he would wake up in the night, seizing the blankets with his slim fingernails, clenching his teeth hard enough to shatter glass. Then the breathing would come – oh yes, the breathing. The hot, irrational breathing and tugging pains at his sides. All from the dreams. _The Dreams. _Dreams that would absolutely, one hundred percent haunt him throughout the day. All day.

_Such hard faces set in smoke. The smell lingers in my clothes._

Barnaby's nose twitched, he smelt dinner's luscious scent fan its way past his nose and his stomach yowled. The tiles beneath his feet reminded him of a viscous fire, and he became hyper aware of his sponsors looking at him gravely, blending in to the foggy colored walls like middle aged chameleons.

Just as he felt he would rip his suit off from the unconditional volume of hot air, Keith glided to his side, helmet hiding his surely smiling face. "Only a few more minutes, they usher the reporters out as soon as the banquet begins."

Barnaby's tight chest did not loosen, however his temperature seemed to drop slightly at the thought of all those pushy people be-ridding themselves. What was not comforting however, was how relaxed Kotetsu seemed to look – as always. The older man's slender body was propped up against an empty table, his mind clearly in space. He was hanging around the back of the room, his amber eyes trained hard on the faint electrical exit sign across the room. His mask hid some of the emotion in his eyebrows, but Barnaby easily guessed that he was not thrilled to be here, either.

Their boss had made them both swear an oath, (mainly for Kotetsu's sake,) that they would not leave unexpectedly. Half of Barnaby was relieved at the thought of not being left alone in this fiasco, but currently Kotetsu's presence was purely neutral. He was doing nothing. Nothing at all. He not once looked over at his partner, nor did he look over at the loud crowd that jumped like mad dogs for his attention.

_ It's a bad night to be alone, but that's the way it goes._

This was Kotetsu's way of putting up with events like this, and that meant Barnaby was alone. Again. _Abandoned. Forsaken. Forlorn_. But then again, when in his life had he not been? Every man for himself. This was just another one of those times, not any different from the usual. This was civilized warfare and he was unarmed... it was a bad night to be alone, but that's the way it goes.

Barnaby escaped the crowd of photographers as they resisted the bouncers on their way out. _'It's only one night – one sponsor-filled, sponsor-pleasing, sponsor-worshiping night.' _He feebly convinced his aching heart. '_I didn't even sign up for sponsors like this – Albert initially promised me that I'd be my own independent hero... and I never signed up for a worn-out sidekick, either.'_

Kotetsu took a seat at the dinner table as the crowd control pushed the public back out the doors. Barnaby was quick to snag the chair beside him – God forbid he had to share leg space with Nathan. Kotetsu was oddly quiet as the other sat down and Barnaby scanned his face. Soft chestnut beard, lowered eyelids. He was staring hard across the table, thoughtfully, but there was no trace of strain ... more like intent.

Barnaby gulped as a large crested plate was set in front of him. Spaghetti and meatballs, mozzarella shavings sizzling to a melt. It smelled delicious, but underneath the table Kotetsu's leg was bouncing up and down, up and down, _up and down. _Barnaby felt irritation pile up within him. He glared towards his partner, and Kotetsu's leg came to a halt. _'What's up with all of these funny looks?_' Barnaby wondered vaguely, just as another, different, expression slid across the others face; never once did he look up at Barnaby.

"A toast to such a new success! " Maverick's voice rang out loud and gruffly. To Barnaby's surprise, Kotetsu stood quickly and raised his glass first. His chest swelled as the room noisily followed and cheers and claps - accompanied the _clink _of crystal glasses. He felt his cheeks light heavily on fire, but he would never admit to it. Especially to that old guy.

After dinner the rich made themselves cozy, wrapped thickly in conversation of yachts and sponsors. Barnaby felt his eyelids drooping heavily and thought faintly of cartoons with toothpicks for that kind of situation. Not that he had watched cartoons all that much when he was a boy, he had been busy crying for the majority of his childhood.

Stretching, he laid his head back in his chair and ran his hands through his hair. _'My mind has been working nonstop for the past two weeks, I need a break..." _his eyes wondered to the exit sign and he caught glimpse of Kotetsu leaned up against the door, waiting desperately to get out,._ '...or at least a chance to catch my breath.'_

Barnaby forced his eyes closed and searched for his partner within his memory. _'He's probably lost out there in that sea tonight... if only we were really fish, not just bait.' _

_ "Bunny."_

_ Barnaby's gut leaped. Leaped and flipped and twisted and road a speeding roller coaster around his body cavity. The only organ working harder than his wrenching stomach was his squeezing heart. Squeezing, panting heart. Red, slippery and alive._

_ Stop it._

_ Barnaby fought harshly against his leg , inching underneath the table towards his partner's jumpy limbs the drunker he got. Sound barreled itself against his eardrums but the only sound he heard was the,_

_pump, pump, pump-_

_ of his blue turned red veins. His heart rate screamed to new heights and he buried his head in his hands, mouth dry like a vacuum. Ivan sat next to him, leaned in, "You okay Barnaby?"_

_ "What's wrong lil' Bunny? Something the matter?" Kotetsu teased across the table and Antonio choked on his own humor._

_ Barnaby grunted and shook himself, forcing his eyes in the other direction. "Yeah, feel a little stressed out tonight." Ivan's gaze lingered for a moment and then he took a long drink. "That's why you're at the bar, to get rid of the stress." Origami slid the drink toward him. "Relax."_

_ It was easier said than done with that bouncy moron across from him. Kotetsu was in a laughing fit with Antonio across the table, both of their beers flying across the wood and all over their friends. The older man stretched his legs to full length and rocked back and forth, gut wrenching giggles enrapturing him. He looked so much younger when he was happy, free. Drunk._

_ Drunk. _

_ His feet tapped Barnaby's and the blonde shook violently away. _

_ Stop it._

_ Barnaby's skin crawled, each rock, back and forth, had his jaw clenched tighter, pant legs catching. Booths were the worst seats to occupy when trying for personal space, that was one thing Barnaby could take away from this night._

_ "And than – AND THAN I said – _I – Wild Tiger! - _HAVE COME TO ARREST YOU FOR YOUR HANOUS DEEDS! SURRENDER NOW OR PAY THE PRICE!" Kotetsu's booming laugh sang out shrilly and it strangled Bunny's airway – stopped his mind, his lungs - and than, not too much later, it stopped his good judgment. _

_ Roughly, Barnaby kneed his partner under the table, but instead of pulling away, - oh yes - the Devil got the best of him. The very best. Jammed his leg tightly between Kotetsu's legs, his knee lodged in places it very well shouldn't have been. _

_ His legs... my leg between his legs... _

_ Kotetsu had stopped laughing very abruptly. Too abruptly, but alcohol was on his side – no one else cared. _

_ The first thing that took him were those shimmering amber eyes. Shimmering, confused, beautiful scrutiny shone like it never had before. The perfect kind of scrutiny. Barnaby felt Kotetsu pull himself away but he was hot on pursuit – one step ahead of the game. Biting his lower lip, he shot his partner – for the most fleeting of moments – a baby blue look that killed,_

_ KILLED, _

_ like a crossbow. A look that whined a thousand words and leaked purple velvet. A look he had not had to use on a middle aged man before. _

_ Quickly Kotetsu shuffled underneath the table and darted his eyes away, panic rising sickly on his swarthy face. Barnaby liked it._

_ Barnaby loved it. _

_ "Bunny..." _

_ Bunny._

_ "_Bunny, wake up."

Barnaby jolted. Kotetsu was leaning over him softly, hand on his shoulder. "You started _snoring, _decided I'd come save you the embarrassment."

"Get your hand off me," Barnaby bit and swiped at the warmth on his shoulder. Panting, he rubbed his eyes roughly and jumped to his shaky feet, erasing what he could that was burned behind his eyes.

"You look completely sick, Barnaby,"

_Thump-_

"I'm not sick, I just want to go home."

_Thump-_

_ "Fair enough but we don't always get what we want."_

_ Thump, thump-_

"Whatever." Barnaby gasped and faced away from Kotetsu, his breathing so irregular he felt like a kid again. A kid going through puberty _all over again._ Glancing downwards he leaned against a wall, "I just need to get out of here."

"I'll take you home as soon as this is over."

_THUMP-_

_ "_I can drive myself. Just because you're _old_ doesn't mean I'm a _kid._" Barnaby snarled. Sudden flashes of Kotetsu running his softened leather hands down his stomach hit him like a concussion and he coughed. _"Excuse me_,"

He trotted away in a kind of panic, feeling his partner's gaze searing through him with every uneasy step. _'What is with this idiot.' _he scuffed his shoes against the ballroom floor. These dreams made him uneasy, uncomfortable, in an accurate state of vexation - and yet he realized with a hint of guilt that this was not fair in the slightest.

Kotetsu was not at all planting these ideas in his head, (he physically could not do that...) so what did that mean? He wanted it? Craved it, or something? Hell no. Not something as gay as that. Not someone as silly as him. He decided – as he felt his pants go numb – that he could not think about this any longer - not after two glasses of wine. He made his way towards the punch bowl in complete desperation.

_Oh how I'd like to punch this bowl._ He mused, but he had no breath left to laugh, no breath left to waste.

_And to think, Kotetsu has no idea. _

_ What a total dummy. _


End file.
